Often times, i make an effort to write -something-delicious about him. I always start on a paper but stop half-way and tear it all-up. For what words can describe him? A man i have not seen and heard?

Sometimes when the guilt is too much, it pushes me to  pick my old laptop  and write something down like i am doing now.

But even then, the words fail me, for i fear, no words , no story or essay can do justice to him!

Even if i am able to  write my thoughts down , it still can’t describe;

how deep my heart has grown,

how much peace my soul has found,

how miraculously my paranoid- sickness vanished,

how strong i have become,

how content i am,

Because indeed , there were days  i was dead….that i thought only of killing myself, of not finding myself worthy to fit into this so called  world.

and then he appeared! to lit up my world! ooh what a joy he brought to my heart, that people who kept  a bet on me dryly asked, ‘what the hell happened to her?’


i now can laugh out loud,

i now can smile deeply,

i now can inhale the morning’s freshly air ,

i now can truly live,

i now can break boundaries and make histories,

ooh why the frown? why is  your head down? so you actually believed i would rot? face-out?

then there’s news for you….

ooh yes! You ask what the hell happened to her??…


GOD happened!



  1. Center of the Universe, the essence of ecstasy; and yet the very fall of many men who drink its fountain to the lees. Great work Portia! A must-read for every lady.

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